This always seems to be a good exercise for me... makes me feel like not a total slacker, you know?

( Read more... )

( I'm not even sure I remember what I read in the past two months, honestly, but here's my effort at filling it in: Jane Eyre, Adele and Boy Proof. )

And the year in review...

It may be early to do this--there are 3.5 weeks left, after all--but I suspect I'm not going to cram any significant reading in

I read 40 total books this year, down 30% from 57 last year. I suspect, though, that I read rather more words this year than I have in other years, between the internet, journal articles, fan fic, parts of books rather than whole books, and short stories. (And at least one MS for critique.) Or, that's what I tell myself. But I've read a lot for research, and I wrote a book and a half, so I'm not giving myself a real hard time.

( The break down follows. Also, this is the first time my maths came out right on the first try. )

So. Hm. I got an A- after all (in my first ever library school class, which I thought I was failing, for those of you just now joining my angst).

I AM SO CONFUSED. AND RELIEVED.

( 2007 Review Meme )

A record low in 2004, merely 48 books. Which is less than one a week. What happened?

( Excuses )

( And, what I read... )

Oy, humbug.

I wasn't going to do one of these. But then, I honestly couldn't remember which stories I'd written this year, and realized it was probably not a bad idea to do one of these, to have the info later. I tend to devalue my accomplishments in face of continuing rejection--in part because I know these sorts of laurels are sparse and prickly and will give you a rash should you try to rest on them

( Writing )

Overall, asking questions like "What was your favorite story?" doesn't work for me. And yet, it hit me while thinking about it that I don't like everything I've written this year. Some of my stories feel pallid, lame, empty and weak when I compare them to the ones I really love. And yet, I couldn't make them come out *better*. Why not? That's what I wonder. Why not? I feel like there's a very subtle creative block in my brain, that says "Don't push." When I have pushed, I've enjoyed what I've produced so much more than when I didn't.

If I manage to write the story and later figure out that I didn't push (push what? The magic pedal? I hate ungrounded metaphors), it seems impossible to fix. It has to be done from the beginning. And the problem is? Sometimes I can't figure out *how* to do the pushing.

It's something like this: I have to bend the shape of the story so that it matches my world view, instead of bending my world view so it can be put in a story.

I'm sorry that I can't even really explain what I mean.

I haven't sold enough stuff to figure out what the ratio of sales on pushed to unpushed stories is, either. Maybe I'll figure it out in 2005? But probably not then, either.

( Selling (or Not) )